I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
