McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
