Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
