what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
