You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
