I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
