I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
