so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If I die, sorry about rent.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I came so hard my ears popped.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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