That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
farters have to be the big spoon...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
