dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
