***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
