I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
