Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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