You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
where am i from again
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
