no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
