what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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