nut hugger
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
