Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
