We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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