So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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