Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
