Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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