Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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