Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
