OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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