just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
