You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
