the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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