Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
