Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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