My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
