I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
