jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
