What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
