physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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