Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
