She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
