This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
