Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Ladies don't puke and tell
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
