bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
