One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
