Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
