SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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