I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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