i would punch a child for taco bell
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
