I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
