Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
