I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
