Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
