I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
