I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
