What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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